she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
