I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
