just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
