yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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