Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
