he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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