Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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