Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
