Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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