You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
