yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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