he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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