Kiss
Puke
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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