this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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