Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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