I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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