She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
