you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
