gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
