can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
