i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
