Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
