the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
