Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
