Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Life is so much better after having sex.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
