dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
