So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
