Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
