You're so nebulous sometimes
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
