He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
