yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
