I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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