I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
