$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
