Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
