We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
