Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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