You made me cry and you don't even care
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
