Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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