I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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