somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
