I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
