Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
