She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
