I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
