OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
