3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
