He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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