I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
