I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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