Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
